Monsters, Aliens, Tiny Towns, Tiny Life

Michigan is a weird state.  There really aren’t any big cities here.  I mean, there’s Detroit, but that city is dying faster than newspapers and fax machines put together.   The second biggest is Grand Rapids, but that place seems like “Flint, V2.0.”  Other than that, we have dozens of small towns surrounded by small villages.  I happen to live in one of these towns.

monstersThere are eight (or so) villages that surround my town.  Everyone comes here for their various consumer needs.  My town has more than one restaurant, more than one department store, and more than one stop light; if you need your car fixed and don’t trust “Dick’s Automotive Palace,” which is just a dude with some wrenches and a camero on blocks, then you come here.  We’re also the only town – other than the huge megaplex forty minutes away – that has a movie theater.  Today The Wife and I were bored, so we went to the theater and saw Monsters vs. Aliens at the two-screen movie house. 

I miss going to these tiny theaters.  I think it’s one of the things that this generation is going to miss out on (you youngsters).  The movie industry is so inclusive (read: “cannibalistic”) that the mom-and-pop theaters made from reconditioned bowling alleys and failed porno stores are going the way of the dodo. 

We both got in, we both got popcorn, and we both got soda for less than $20.  At the Inconvenient MovePlex, $20 wouldn’t’ve got us in the door.

The movie itself wasn’t bad.  I don’t want to call it “good” because someone of limited importance might read this and then Dreamworks will continue to do the ridiculous shit they’ve been doing.  That is, they get a slew of writers who rewrite the story into a homogenous mess (I think I counted four sets of writers that were credited), they get a slew of actors who have no business doing voice work (apparently Reese Witherspoon is much more accomplished than Tress MacNeille), and they have animators who overcompensate their lack of design with theatrical movements not seen since before “talkies.”

Universally considered the biggest box-office bomb of all time, Cutthroat Island has still made more money than Tiny Life.

Universally considered the biggest box-office bomb of all time, Cutthroat Island has still made more money than Tiny Life.

I understand they want another Shrek and I understand the best way to do that is to hit every mark: middle-of-the-road writing so that kids can watch it while parents can tolerate it, recognizable names so that all fans of all actors involved will come to see it, and large/”funny” gestures so that small children and non-English speakers can still enjoy the show.  But the thing about Shrek was that it was just a small team of people working on something they loved.

Kind of like Tiny Life

I just hope I’ll one day see Shrek money.

Hell, I’d be happy to see Cutthroat Island money.


3 Responses

  1. Love Williamston’s Theater. $10 and we have tickets, drinks, and a large popcorn. 😀

  2. For $10?! where is this willimston? is it near st. louis?

  3. She lying. that means it costs like $2 to get in $2 per drink and $2 for popcorn.

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