Health Food

I’ve always said that if I ever had enough money, I’d eat right.  In college there was one year where I had just enough money for rent, school, peanut butter, bread, spaghetti, and butter.  Twice a month I could afford a Slurpee (back when they were $1.56 with tax.  Now they’re $1.79.  Stupid inflation).

Coke in a bottle: Official Sponsor of my ten cavities.

Coke in a bottle: Official Sponsor of my ten cavities.

When I got out of college and got my first real job in the Shittiest of Places (SoCal), with my first paycheck (after emailing a picture of it to my mom.  You have to realize, this was my first paycheck that said, “personal days available”) I filled my refrigerator with every food I enjoy: Big Kat candy bars and Coke in a bottle and delicious apples and inch-thick steak and five-dollar pizza.  Basically, I filled it with things a teenager might eat.  Soon after, I had painful zits.  Maybe it was the candy bar and bottle of Coke after every meal, maybe it was the constant sweating because California resembles Hell in every way that counts; I don’t know, I’m not a nutritionist.

When I came back to Michigan, I decided to start eating right.  That’s why I bought “organic milk” a few weeks ago.  It’s why I bought Soy Milk today.

The more I’ve been reading about nutrition and how it affects things like heart disease (runs in my family), cancer (runs in my family), and diabetes (my mom has it), the more I realize I’ve been eating like I want to kill myself.

On a side-note, I’ve never understood funerals where a guy has eaten himself or drank himself to death and in the eulogy somebody says, “He just loved life.”  No.  He hated life.  That’s why he drank so much and ate so much and had sex with all those nasty women (and that one dude who he thought was a woman who was just too shy to show him “the goods”).

It seems that a lot of the things that we take for granted as hereditary – types of cancer, MS, heart problems, etc. – are only part of the problem.  Something that doctors are seeing is that certain proteins activate these problems.  What I mean is, if you have a certain cancer that runs in your family, say breast cancer, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll get it.  What it means is that your body has more of these “activators” than normal folk.  It’s what you eat that turns these activators on.  It turns out – the evidence is getting clearer and clearer – that the thing that turns these activators on is animal protein.

So, since I don’t want to die, I’ll eat vegetables instead of steak and soy instead of milk.

On the plus side, they’re starting to find out that sugar (other than the obvious calorie problem) really isn’t that bad for you.


2 Responses

  1. Eating unhealthful food and having promiscuous sex don’t imply a hatred of life. People generally don’t do such things in order to kill themselves. They do it because it feels good. Rational, life-loving people can decide that a shorter life that includes things harmful to your health is preferable to a longer life devoid of all things harmful to your health.

    Or, more likely, they can eat shit and fuck things without any real consideration of the longterm effects.

    On the flipside, I’m a vegan and I hate life, and I expect my eulogy to reflect as much.

  2. Sounds like someone needs a hug.

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