Church Posts at Baby Class

As you should know, The Wife and I are having a baby in June (she’s having it, I’m paying for it).  To prepare for it, we have to do all sorts of things.  We have to build a nursery and buy parenting magazines and go to hundreds of rummage sales to buy “used-but-trendy” clothes for something that doesn’t know where she is.

We also have to go to baby class.

For those of you who haven’t yet experienced the joy of preparing for the joy of having a kid keep you awake for the next 20 years, you’re really missing something.  Baby class is held in a church.  Baby class is almost three hours long.  Since I have a hard time sitting for more than just a few minutes (unless, of course, I’m writing and/or drawing), I spend quite a bit of this time perusing the bulletin board in the lobby.  I figured I’d write a post or two about the odd things I see on their public forum.

The oddest one has got to be the prayer list.  See, in a church, there is often a prayer list where list your ailment and the congregation will pray that God will heal whatever is troubling you (personally, I think most of that is bubkis (unless the sick person is really a believer and really knows that other people are praying for him; I honestly believe that someone can get better faster simply by believing that they are getting better faster), and it’s been scientifically proven.  But we are talking about a bunch of people who get together at least once a week to give praise to someone who is everywhere all the time.  It’d be like everyone I know getting together to breathe in the same general area.  You can breathe anywhere; the oxygen will still get into your body whether I’m there or not).  Now, some of these ailments are – literally – deadly serious.  Here are a few that I wrote down:

Jeremy is the son of Jackson and Martha.  His cancer has taken a turn for the worse.

Yolanda is the Grandmother to Elizabeth and Mother to Ellsinore.  She has broken her other hip and is not expected to recover.

Noah is theGrandson of Wayne and Bonnie.  He’s only 2 and has leukemia.

But then there were some that I didn’t quite understand:

Brian is the father of Emma.  Continues to do well.

Shirley is the mother of Genevieve.  Has just switched churches.

And my personal favorite:

Harold is the son of Jonathon


2 Responses

  1. jonathon must be a dick

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