Bad at Jobs

One of the things I continually harp on – besides the education issues – is that most people I run into can’t do their jobs.

I take that back; I’m sure most people do their jobs just fine. You wouldn’t notice these people. People who can get you in and out of line at the grocery store, people who corral carts without hitting cars, people who can read the teleprompter without adding stupid jokes… these are all people who can do their jobs and your day isn’t affected (as it should be). The people you notice, though, are the people who do affect your day. These are the people who’ll hook up your cable between noon and 5 PM, or mess up your order and tell you they got it right, or run a telephone helpline that helps no one.

My new story is about an insurance company. I like my current insurance company; they’re local and they seem to pay up pretty quickly whenever The Wife hits her annual deer. However, an insurance company is pretty damn useless. All they do is collect money from me and then pay that money to someone else if I ever need them to; they’re like a bank, but without all that pesky “keeping track of how much money I have so that one day I can retire” thing. Since all insurance companies are essentially the same thing, what it really comes down to is how much money it costs annually to be with them. This new company costs about $1000 less per year, so I decided to join.

I went to their website, found some representatives and emailed them. I got a quote and it sounded like a pretty good deal. I then had to fill out some forms and send them back in. But the agent spelled both my name and The Wife’s name wrong on the forms. He had to correct them and then get back to me. This was in January.

The metaphor of "Umbrella" insurance is that it will protect you from the rain. It will not, however, protect you from the bullshit.

In February, I contacted him and asked if everything was straightened out. He said that it was but that he had misquoted me now that the year had progressed a little. He’d have to get back to me with a more accurate quote and possible resend the forms.

A month later he got back to me and said that I needed to give him a picture of the house and a description of any work that I had done. I did this within a few days (I was just finishing up “left” at the time, so I was pretty busy).

In April he said that the underwriters found some claims on The Wife’s car. I explained the annual deer and the World’s Most Expensive Sandwich and he said that’d be ok – none of it was her fault.

Toward the beginning of May, he said that everything seemed to check out and I should let him know when I wanted to start the billing. I said (and this is 100% accurate; I checked the email), “How about June 1. That should be enough time for you to correct everything on the forms, inform the lien holders, talk to ESCROW, cancel my current insurance, and get whatever information you need from my current insurance company.” He wrote back and said that’d be fine; as a matter of fact, he said he wouldn’t need nearly that much time.

So June was almost upon us and I emailed him, asking if everything was ready. No response. I did it again and he said there were a few problems with underwriting and that he’d get back to me.

After Lemon was born I got a bill in the mail for exactly $100 from my new insurance company saying something about a cancellation. That night I got a phone call from my ESCROW company saying they had a problem with insurance/loan information. Once I made all the appropriate calls, it turns out this guy never spelled my name right, never talked to the lien holders, never talked to ESCROW, never canceled my current insurance, and needed some more information. The $100 was how much they charge for an extension while they figure things out.

Now, keep in mind, all I want to do is give his company money for not working at all. And it’s been six months.

To me, it’s just not worth the $1000. If I’m having this much trouble giving them money, imagine how much trouble I’ll have asking for it once the annual Deer Collision happens.


One Response

  1. […] Pages Insurance WoesBad at JobsWhy Oh Why (part 3)Camping: Adult Hobbies I Wish I Had Part 5Why Oh Why (part 4)Why Oh Why (part […]

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