Californication Season 3

When I first met The Wife – back before she was even The Girlfriend, back when she was The Voice on the Phone – she was an X-Phile; that is, The Wife used to become sexually excited when it came to Fox’s The X-Files. Therefore, anything with David Duchovny in it (even the Red Shoe Diaries) has become fair game around the house. Most of this stuff is crap. If you don’t believe me, try to watch Kalifornia or Playing God; you won’t get through it. With his last few endeavors, however, it seems like he’s given up trying to be a star and has just been concentrating on making quality material. Caliofornication is his best example.

David Duchovny + Brad Pitt + Juliette Lewis = unwatchable

The first two season of Californication were outstanding. Although the seasons were short and the episodes were shorter, the series highlighted some of the best writing I had ever seen on television. It was original, thought-provoking, and engaging. Although I’m not what you’d call a Duchovny fan (it might be because of my jealousy), I secretly watched all the episodes before The Wife could. The third season is different.

The third season of Californication is a raunchy version of Two and a Half Men. Charlie Sheen has an awesome life: he falls ass backwards into money, has sex with hundreds of women, and is drunk most of the time; Jon Cryer has a crappy life: his wife left him, his job sucks, and he’s a little too straight-laced for the room; the kid doesn’t know what to make of it all. In Californication, David Ducuvny has an awesome life: he falls ass backwards into money, has sex with hundreds of women, and is drunk/high most of the time; Evan Handler has a crappy life: his wife left him, his job sucks, and he’s a little too straight-laced for the room; the kid doesn’t know what to make of it all. But now instead of having a mediocre show sorta based on real life (Sheen’s addictions), you have a mediocre show sorta based on real life (Duchuvny’s addictions) with boobies and swears.

The third season is a sit-com: The main character, Hank Moody, (who is – get this – very moody! Ha!) starts a relationship with three different girls while his baby’s momma is cross-county. When she comes by for a visit, everyone conveniently meets at his place for completely different reasons and they all find out about each other. Hilarity ensues.  I haven’t seen anything like that since Three’s Company. Or Facts of Life. Or Golden Girls. Or Home Improvement. Or The Cosby Show.  Or Friends.

Season 21: due April 2016

I was at least hoping for some sort of tongue-in-cheek moment or a point where Hank comes to terms with his womanizing and how it affects his teenage daughter. No such luck.

I’m sure The Wife will make me watch any subsequent season of Californication. It’s just that from now on, I won’t be excited about it.

I imagine it’s how she feels when I make her watch yet another season of The Simpsons.

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