The Mediocrest Place on Earth

Recently I took a break from Tiny Life to go on my first Family Vacation.  Since Lemon is still too young to really go anywhere far away (“far away” = 4 or more hours travel-time), we decided on Mackinac Island.  I hadn’t been there since I was a boy, and now I remember why.

Mackinac Island: the happiest place on Earth in 1876.

Let me rephrase that; I made it sound like I don’t understand why people go there.  I completely understand: it’s the epitome of mediocre fun.

Let me explain it like a jackass – the way I would’ve explained it just a few short years ago – and then I’ll explain it like an optimist.  Relate to the description that best fits your outlook:

Jackass: First you drive like three hours to get there and there’s traffic everywhere.  It’s impossible to find a place to park and all of the hotels are exactly alike; they’re all shaped the same and they all charge outrageous prices to get a lakeview room (I don’t want to get into a “bridgeview” room).  Then you wait in line to get on a boat to get to the island.  Then you wait in line to get off the boat.  Once you’re there you walk around for hours on end tripping over all the fudge/taffy/ice cream shops.  If you’re lucky enough, you can spend $20 on renting a bike or a horse-drawn carriage just so you can spend another $20 to get into some cheap local museum or historical hotel.  The only good part about it is that, because it’s an island, it doesn’t matter how hot it gets because you always have a breeze.

You can also go golfing, which is fun sometimes.

Optimist: A road trip is sort of fun; three hours is the optimal time.  Because all the hotels are owned by the same company, it really doesn’t matter which one you stay in because you’ll get charged the same rate and you’ll have access to their small indoor waterpark, which is sort of fun.  After you’re all checked in you’ll get on the ferry, which is sort of fun and then walk around downtown on the island – mostly candy-type stores (which is sort of fun).  You can also rent a horse-and-buggy, which is sort of fun.  Once downtown is spent, it’s time to rent bikes, which is sort of fun.  With the bikes you can ride all over the island to see local museums (sort of fun), a fort (sort of fun), a butterfly house (sort of fun), a historic hotel (sort of fun), and rock formations (sort of fun).  The best part about it is that, since it’s an island, the weather is never bad.

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