A Prefabricated 3D Original

I’m a fan of two things and two things only: original things and prefabricated things with a twist. I don’t have time for another thing in a series of things nor do I want to see a thing 2 that’s exactly like a thing 1, except one idea is different.

I don’t like zombies. Marvel Zombies, Zombie Babies, The Walking Dead – these are all the exact same; Shawn of the Dead, however has a nice twist (it’s hilarious!), as does the book World War Z. I don’t like most sports. Football, baseball, basketball – these are all the exact same; hockey, however has a nice twist (it’s on ice!).

I love Nirvana’s In Utero because I’ve never heard another album like it; I love the 2014 Tesla Model S because I’ve never seen a car like it.

A collection of Foo Fighters albums in a frame and mat that I made.

A collection of Foo Fighters albums in a frame and mat that I made.

This idea goes for just about everything: my house is prefabricated but I’ve now done most of the inside myself. My bed is prefabricated but I made the headboard. The buffet is a hand-made one-of-a-kind while the dinner table it’s next to is an amalgamation of an actual dining room table and a bunk bed. It is because of this mentality that I love the new Ikea catalog.

Even if you hate Ikea (which I don’t; it’s prefabricated originality), you will enjoy the new catalog. Last year they had an app that went with the iPhone where you could scan the pages of the catalog while reading. So you could be reading about how they fit an entire house into 126 square feet and say to yourself, “That davenport would look good in the rumpus room” (the median reader age of this blog is 74.8 years), and then hold your iPhone over the page and see the sofa in a variety of colors. Sometimes they just included a video about Scandinavian-made fish sticks.

This year, however is a completely different story:

  1. Go to a page with a little + on it.
  2. Find a piece of furniture you like on that page.
  3. Scan it with your phone.
  4. Set the catalog in the place you’d like that piece of furniture to be.
  5. Look through your phone: it will appear as if that piece of furniture is really there. You can walk around it, look under it, and take pictures of it.

Now if we could only harness this technology for naked-lady purposes.

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