Some Dirty Math

I got my iPhone four years and two months ago. Around that time I decided to star simplifying life. I got rid of a lot of unused furniture; I stopped washing my hair everyday; I started wearing pants a few days in a row. Basically, I wanted to not spend so much time doing the boring repetitive aspects of life; that is, I’ll only live for about 80 years (if I’m lucky) and I don’t want to spend anymore time than I have to doing unnecessary or barely necessary things.

When I mention that I now only wash my hair about once a week, the reaction is usually: “gross!” My rebuttal is: “Do you have any idea how much time you spend standing in a shower getting your hair wet?” No one really knows, but the point comes across nicely. The same could be said about doing dishes or mowing the lawn and getting groceries. I actually have some data for another time-waster: BMs.

20130809-202414.jpg When I go to the bathroom, I take my iPhone with me and play a lil solitaire. Since it’s a pretty tough game, I’m pretty proud of my 350 wins. There are a few other stats available –

Average game time, Average win time, Fewest winning moves, Win percentage – But here’s the one that makes me sad: in the past 50 months, I’ve spent a total of 93 hours and 19 minutes on the toilet. That’s almost four days of my life dedicated to shitting.

Now I’m jealous of my IBS wife.


One Response

  1. […] is a picture of my phone’s homescreen.  I know, there’s an embarrassing app or two (see why I have Solitaire on my homescreen), but I use these apps pretty much everyday.  Today I noticed a change.  Can you […]

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