Real Estate Agents = Unemployable Part 2

This is a sequel to a prior post.

The Wife and I just bought a chunk of land northeast of here.  It’s in a much better school district (it’s in a place where the parents are – get this – involved), it’s close to other people (where I live currently, I literally cannot see other people), and it’s within biking distance to places of business (right now it takes 45 minutes to go get a bottle of milk if baby runs out).  But it wasn’t an easy process.  Because of the real-estate lady.


Some people see greed in these eyes. I see a person devoid of thought.

Here’s what happened: I looked online to find some land and found a little quarter-acre in an area where land hasn’t been available for years.  I drove out there on one of my many Slurpee Runs (I have a problem) and looked over it; for the type of house we want to build, it’s perfect.  I called the smiling lady on the sign and she was unavailable.

I called again a day later with no response.  The next day I was able to find her email address while searching through an employee database.  She called back after that.  It turns out that her family had some sort of pyramid-scheme real estate business: the mom was a real estate broker, the dad was a builder, the son was a contractor, and she was a real estate agent; the mom bought properties, her dad built houses on the properties while hiring her brother to help finish up details, she would then sell the properties and everyone would split the money with virtually no overhead costs.  Mom and dad died, however, and this is where I, like a professional buyer (or a vulture) swooped in and benefited from their death.

In order to close the estate (that is, in order for all of the kids to get their inheritance) they had to sell this particular property.  Tee-hee.

Unfortunately, this need was trumped by the agent’s incompetence.

She didn’t know where the property lines were.  She didn’t know any of the building codes for the area.  She couldn’t find the surveyor’s papers.  She didn’t know why the property was built.  She didn’t know why it was on the market so long.  She had to call me back after each one of these questions (which, of course, she didn’t; I ended up calling her).  The only thing she really knew was that the property had to go, she needed the easiest deal, and that her sister was the executor of the estate.

We didn't pay half of what these places are asking.  AND we're not in a subdivision.

We didn’t pay a third of what these places are asking. AND we’re not in a subdivision.

After realizing this place was a dream, The Wife and I decided to bid on it.  This means paperwork.  This means more opportunities to screw up.  I had to drive about 40 miles to sign papers; when I got there, she said that The Wife had to sign them too.  So I signed what I could.  Toward the end of the ream of papers I had just signed she said, “Whoops.  This is for a property with a structure on it.”  When she got the correct papers she said again, “Whoops.  This is for a bank loan and you’re paying cash.”  When she finally got the correct forms it turned out to be one page front-and-back.  But The Wife had to sign it too.  So she came over to my house.  The Wife signed on the dotted line next to the dotted line where my name appeared; once everything was done she said everything should be finalized in about three weeks.

Three weeks came and three weeks went.  The day of the scheduled closing she called and said that there was some sort of snafu and we’d have to meet another time.  I said, since we’re currently living in a house and we don’t need a specific date to move into a new house, any ole time was fine by me; she wouldn’t have that.  She needed to know a day and a time so she could coordinate with everyone else involved.  After about 40 minutes of explanations, she agreed that I was probably the last person that really needed to agree.

At the closing she was late.  She also brought the wrong paperwork; luckily, her new broker was there too and had the correct paperwork.  Once everything was signed and the surprisingly small check was handed over, I heard her say to the title clerk, “I thought you said they had to make out this check to you.  We can’t close the estate if…” and I shut the door.

In any other job, she would’ve been fired a dozen times over.


One Response

  1. […] A few weeks back we bought some land.  It’s a beauty.  Here’s a picture: […]

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