An Example

I wrote an article a while back about ridiculous names people keep giving their kids.  It got some flack, but I stand by it.  I now have a real-life example.

We have water AND sand!

I took the kids to Saugatuck a week or two ago; it wasn’t anything planned.  We went to the “sand dunes” (from what I could see, these aren’t sand dunes, the beach is just hilly), swam in the lake, ate ice cream, and played in a park.

While we were at the park, there was another little girl playing on the same swings that I was pushing my kids.  She walked right up to my oldest and said exactly this:

“My name is Aiyea: Ae-eye-why-ee-ae”

Her parents gave her a name that she will forever have to spell.  Every time she meets anyone she will have to say “My name is Aiyea: Ae-eye-why-ee-ae.”  Every time she is on the phone on some sort of service call she will have to say “My name is Aiyea: Ae-eye-why-ee-ae”.

The only upside to this is when a phone solicitor calls and says, “Can I speak to … eye-ya?” she’ll know right away that it’s not a social call.

And I just thought of this: this stuff compounds.  What’s going to happen when Aiyea has kids and she wants to name them something original?  Will it just be animal sounds?  Like the See n Say?  “This is my son (click here).  He’s getting his MBA this winter.”  Will it be a body part? “Baby Sphincter has his father’s eyes.”  Or a dead langauge? “Little बइग doesn’t like water in her eyes.”  Will it be all emojis?  “His real name is 🙂 but we shorten it to ‘colon-closed-parentheses’ whenever we can”.

Just stop it.  Before it’s too late.  For little Aiyea.

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