Yes, we should be moved into the house by now. But this one’s a doozy:
Most of the houses in my neighborhood were built in the 40s and 50s. It’s because of this that I designed my house to be classy (before we bought the land, my original plan was to have a lot of neon lights with “live nude girls”). Unfortunately, because this system is so old, a few things have been forgotten along the way. Like sewer access.
Each parcel of land (or possible future parcel) has its own “stub” into the main sewer line; the township does this when they (or whoever) install the sewer. Apparently, though, the parcel of land that I bought was not parceled properly, so I have no sewer access. This means one of two things:
- I can pay someone to hook a sewer line from my house to the road, and then burrow under the road 100 feet to the nearest manhole, at which point someone would physically go into the sewer and make a connection. So far, I have yet to find anyone willing to do this.
I can pay someone to hook a sewer line from my house to the road, get a permit to shut down the road, dig out the road, dig fifteen feet down to the sewer, get a permit to stop the sewer, install a new “stub”, fill in the hole, and repair the road. I found someone will to do this for just shy of $11,000. With the $9000 water permit and the $6500 electrical hook-up, I’m looking at over $26000 for the ability to shit in my house at night.
After three weeks of research, I was finally able to talk to the township engineer. He came out, noticed that the vacant land to the south of me (in a flood plain, I might add) had two “stubs”, and said that he would sign off on me using their sewage access.
But goddamn is that a lot of paperwork.
Over the last two weeks, after getting several permits, one of which is an addendum to my deed to be recorded by the county, I should finally be able to finish this thing up.
I’ve been at my In-Law’s exactly 13 months.
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